I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Randomize
