I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
