Whod you bang
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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