And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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