He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
