It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
