I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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