And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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