dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
