Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
