it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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