Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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