I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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