it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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