What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
