so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize