Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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