this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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