Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
