He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
