Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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