Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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