so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
