somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
