I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize