TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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