Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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