this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
