May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
