Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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