Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
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