yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize