we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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