I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
