You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
