I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize