Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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