i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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