why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
