Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
