walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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