my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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