I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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