The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
is it fun? or sober?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
