giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're a waste of cheezeits
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
