absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
