Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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