I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
