Non-Jews are for practice
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
