Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sext me about skeletons
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize