if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
