remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
