I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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