i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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