'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
