3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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