i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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