absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
