Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize