Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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